As a little girl, I remember looking forward to a weekend McDonald’s Happy Meal. Going to the land of Golden Arches every weekend was a rite of passage decades before reading Fast Food Nation. I don’t know what I liked more about it, those nuggets before realizing what they consisted of, or the surprise toy that would be inside. Those Happy Meals were fun and I enjoyed those collectible items. I wish I had saved those toys from the 80s as they would have made a great Etsy store or art installation today. I could see myself putting them together for a low-budget stop-motion animation film worthy of being ignored by the Oscars.
Crack Is Still Wack
It’s always important to remember that when you’re dealing with franchises, whether it’s domestic or in another country, they’re not all created the same. Therefore, you may have to look out for some franchises that don’t operate at the same professional level as others do.
This lack of professionalism could result in surly customer service, wrong orders, or even drug paraphernalia in your bag.
Say what?
A crack pipe was found in a McDonald’s drive through order in Columbus, Ohio. Was this mistake, a mixed-up “exchange”, or a way to test a new version of an Adult Happy Meal? Instead of using a crack pipe, why not use a nip bottle? I like a good tequila or gin myself.
Better yet, how about a shot of Bailey’s to go with some of that awesome Mickey D’s coffee!
Alternative Happy Meal Gifts
Some of the best Happy Meal toys have included Teenie Babies, Changeables, Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Hot Wheels, and Muppet Treasure Island. I wish I knew about the Hello Kitty days. I so would have gotten a Happy Meal for me…..oops, I mean my niece.
One must wonder about such a mix-up. How does one go from supersized fries, a Hello Kitty watch or Kermit the frog miniature to a crack pipe? Maybe they look similar in bad lighting. Sorry, Kermit.
If the long existing chain is running out of ideas for adult giveaways to include in an adult meal, here are a few suggestions. The current Apple Airpods Pro is priced at $200. According to USA TODAY,.the buds are one of the most popular items of 2023. It’s no shock due to their amazing sound and noise-cancelling technology.
Maybe the actual AirPods themselves are too expensive for a McDonald’s meal item. However, a coupon for a discount can help. Then instead of paying $200, you could $199.99 for those buds.
Then there is the Diamond Dazzler Cleaner Pen, which could easily fit in a meal container. Priced at $19, you can help restore sparkle to your precious stones. The pen helps remove oils and dirt so your rocks never have to look dirty again. So if you have a former engagement ring lying around that you pretended to lose, shine it up before going to the pawn shop…I mean returning them to your ex-fiance.
After all the guests coming through your home for those Christmas parties, it may be time to air things out. With a coupon for the Winex air purifier, it captures over 99% of airborne pollutants. When you have pollen, dust mites, mold, or lingering crack dust, the purifier can be a good bonus at $145.
The Squishmallow Meal
As we get past the Christmas holiday and go into New Year’s, parents of excited children can look forward to getting them Happy Meals with Squishmallow toys. According to Toynk, the cute plush toys come in different shapes and sizes with over 1000 of these characters with unique names.
They become popular worldwide with both kids and adults since their initial creation in 2017. Since these items are pretty soft and squishy, it should be hard to confuse one for a certain bong or crack pipe. Don’t want to scare the kids with such a mix up.
Luckily, the offending paraphernalia wasn’t in a kid’s meal, but one can never be too cautious. As you go you go for the long-awaited squishmallows Happy Meal, just check for a crack pipe or two before you hand it off to junior or baby girl.
Either way, whether you’re traveling domestically or internationally, it’s always a good idea to pay attention to where you’re eating. Whether you’re dealing with a huge franchise, small eatery, fine dining, or takeout, no place is completely safe from making a mistake or messing up your order in ways you may not have imagined. Stay safe, eat well, and enjoy engaging your taste buds in 2024.
In other words, make every meal a HAPPY MEAL!
With love, the Superglad Nomad!